photog: jana from alabama
it's been too awfully long since i properly write on my blog and let you all in to my deeper thoughts and feelings ....
in two days i shall be traveling back to england and although i am terribly excited, i am also keenly aware that i am going back to the drizzling land where i fell in love last year. from the moment i got off the plane in los angeles from that trip, my loins were screaming at me to go back. go back to london. go back. go back. go back.
almost a year later (with many things that have changed around and within me) i once again bought a ticket back to britain. for me, one of the biggest and most fearful occurrences in life is to return to the scene of the crime - to return with a sound mind and body. how to separate the loved from the location... the location from the loved.
this is my humble quest: the separation.
this magical city can not be contained by one man, nor should my memories. i am undoubtedly certain now more than ever that i am ready.
"won't you be sad when you go back? won't you phone him?"
it's as simple as this... when you give your heart to someone, fully and selflessly there is simply no more to give. there are no more phonecalls or conversations or what-went-wrong's or how-about-the-weather's. i've had a significant about of time to actually mend myself back together - to take all the kaleidoscopic pieces and build a stronger inner foundation where even more light can shine through. all that i gave is still his. if in the future he should want to return that precious gift, he will always find my door open to do so. and if not, then he will forever be holding one of the greatest, most valuable, and rare treasures in life.
an honest heart.