thrown out of the nest

there is something to be said about going into your conscious past and peeling away to find the hidden subconscious (and most frequently, painful) layers. people, loved ones, become fictional characters in a world we make our reality. we run over and over in our heads the dialogues in search of some hidden meaning. we begin piecing together coincidences and brutally dismiss them as fate - when in fact - it's just life.

if we're on the right path in life, we must always be in constant change/growth. This has become one of my new favorite quotes: to be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. to live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. to live is to be willing to die over and over again. -pema chodron

at what price do we begin to surrender? when does surrendering not only become an option in our desperate-ego-mind, but actually the educated and most heart felt decision?