at the pool the other day there was a very good looking man/boy enjoying the sun right infront of me. he dipped into the pool and i followed some time later. the second my body was submerged, he asked me if was reading osho's "being in love". i thought it odd that a. he would know what i was reading given that the cover of the book was off and b. that he even knew the author at all. i said yes and he ten asked me if i was an aquarius to which i also said yes (soon to find that his ex, and apparently everyone he's been closest to is). he asked me if it was alright if he were to "try something" on me, of course i said yes, and found myself grabbing a piece of paper and pen.
he asked me to think of a name but not to say it outloud.
(alyssa) i thought.
he asked me to think of a state (mind you: he is from london) but not to say it outloud.
(oregon)
he asked me "black or red?"
(black) i laughed.
as he unfolded each piece of paper he wrote on, he asked me why i thought of the answers. i told him why as he showed me thought PER thought EACH thought.
he literally read my mind.
i stared at him in awe and got out of the pool. i literally felt violated.
after wooing me back in the pool and talking about life, i began to let my guard down.
he told me he was from london and has been in the city for five months. that his mom was visiting and staying at the hotel who's pool we were embracing. that his mom was going back to london today, but he would continue to stay.
when it was time for him to leave, i asked him, "well, will i ever see you again?" he responded, "maybe" then took off his sunglasses and continued, "no, definitely." and yet no taking out of the iphone! my jaw dropped, "that's it?" i asked nonchalantly. he said "well do you believe in fate?" and i answered with upmost confidence, "yes." he said "then, i'll see you soon."
could you believe?!
one of the strangest, loveliest, lamest stories i've ever been part of!
i had to write it to get it out into the universe. to somehow warn the gods that i am conscious of my surroundings.
*
someone told me today, "misunderstanding the future makes you understand the past."
it had to sink in although i immediately disagreed upon its initial presence.
"a clear acceptance of the present allows you to genuinely understand the past." was my reprisal.
but even then, why do we (i) constantly go back to the past to see if some da vinci code will be unlocked and the answers handed over?
i was talking to my aunt the other day and she had some worldly advice... "don't stop playing, that's when you grow old."
fuck the past.
play in the present.
and cross your fingers tomorrow gives you another chance.
this world has some sick obsession with youth. i see it everyday.
people DO get younger.
we, however, inevitably get older.
a new chapter of my life is on the works and i feel ions away from who and how i used to be. so, it goes back to this.... am i playing? do i still believe in magic? can i genuinely trust myself and trust that that which will be will be?
here's looking at you kid.
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